Friday, January 27, 2006

The Sunny Day Couple and Other Mysteries of the Coupled World

If I had to pick my favorite blog I've ever written, this would be it. I hope you like it as much as I do.

Just a few side notes: After reading Quirkyalone, I decided they weren't so much quirky as not believing in real, healthy relationships (I don't blame them, but I like to keep the dream alive.).


March 31, 2004

They say to write what you know. Well, if the countless hours of unqualified relationship counseling to everyone from parents to friends to complete strangers counts, then I have a great wealth of knowledge on this subject. Personal experience however - nada.

I wrote a paper once on how the world creates a construct for the single person that forces them to constantly feel the need to be in a relationship. I'm an English major so the basis of this paper was Bridget Jones's Diary. Basically, Bridget is bombarded by constant reminders of coupledom that even when she is alone she hears the voices saying, "So Bridget, how's the love life?" After writing that paper, I was excruciatingly aware of what I referred to as the "plight of the singleton." Lucky for people like me, a counter-movement is on the move called Quirkyalone which I encourage everyone to check out at But that's not the point of this entry. I don't know if it's just because I'm bored or because it's spring time and all the couples are out frolicking or because I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to be an old spinster cat lady, but I've been pondering the coupled world lately and I feel the need to comment.

Actually, what started my thoughts for this entry (despite the incredibly long intro) was the appearance of the Sunny Day Couple. These are the couples who, every time the sun comes out on a warm day (and we have a lot of them in Florida), flock to the grassy areas of campus and start laying on each other. Now, I don't necessarily mean that in a sexual or blatant PDA way (although those do exist in abundance around here). I just mean that in some form they are basking in both the literal sunshine of Florida and the figurative sunshine of their love, and it makes people like me who are normally perfectly content wish that they at least had a fond memory of something like that to look back on. Of course, the Singleton in me believes that they were simply put there to remind me of what I'm supposed to be striving for. But finally, I remember my cynical and more realistic side that arrives at the final conclusion: They won't last. Is it wrong that I bask in that fact? These two people who are putting their icky, gooey affection for each other out there for the world to see won't last longer than you can say, "Got milk?" (That one's for you, Val.) Don't get me wrong. I'm past the stage where I hate people who have found someone. (For the most part, at least.) When I hear that a friend has started dating someone, I hope and pray that it works out for them because I do think it's a great thing. I've finally learned that when someone says they're getting married the correct reply is not "Good luck," "Why?" or "Oh, really...." but it is "Congratulations." (Although, it's still not my first instinct in most cases.)

Now I find that even the cell phone companies are joining in the party. T-Mobile (remind me to cancel my service) now has a plan for couples to talk free. I'm sorry. I'm supposed to feel sorry for these people on TV who have someone who wants to talk to them so much that they have to take out a second mortgage to pay their phone bill? Nah, I don't think so. It's not "Hey, best friends talk free" or "Moms and daughters talk free" or "Practically married platonic couples talk free." No,'s couples who can't find anything better to do than argue about their phone bill talk free.

What? You are still with me? Wow. Well, I'll keep going then.

If there is one thing I've learned it's that if there is anything we're more obsessed with then being in relationships, it's being in bad relationships. Every other paper I read for my creative writing class is about a bad relationship, a failed relationship, a relationship that never happened, and so on. It's no wonder relationships don't work out. We love to be miserable. We love to look for something to be miserable about in our good relationships. If there's nothing wrong, we think that there must be something wrong or else something is wrong! I think the most compatible people never actually get together because there's not enough tension to make it necessary.

My final pondering of the coupled world (for today, at least) is hand holding. How does this work? No, I really need to know. Because it's been at least four years since I held hands with someone, and it felt comfortable. Everything since then has been that loose, awkward "I'm holding your hand but I'm not really too sure about it" stuff. I always find myself looking for ways to keep the hand holding exciting. Maybe I could lick their knuckles? Maybe I could do that trick where it looks and feels like I'm licking their knuckles, but I'm really just licking mine? Do you see the many dilemmas of the relationship virgin? I'm telling you. It never ends.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Career Day

Oh, yea! This is one of my favorite posts because it's true. Last year, I found out that Ms. May died of cancer a few years ago. This post is dedicated to her and the inspiration she gave us to be who we are right now.


March 21, 2004

Don't believe that what you're doing now is what you have to do later. Ms. May was a professional body builder, a truck driver, and then a school teacher. I hope you don't have to not own a TV to be that diverse.

What a crock high school career day was. Val and I (who were not attached at the hip in high school although many people thought we were and even more of the male species hoped we'd somehow combine into some kind of super woman) can't even remember what career day we chose. All we really can remember is that the scary lady from Salvation Army came every year. I think it was because social work was thrown in with psychology and teaching. Anyway, the fact of the matter is that she was scary! I don't know anything about the Salvation Army besides what this lady told us and the fact that they make people ring bells for money at Christmastime (Who came up with that idea anyway?). So what she basically told us is that the Salvation Army is like a cult, er, army. Now, I don't know much about the army, but last I checked they didn't make it a provision that if you want to move up in the ranks you must marry within the army. Hmmm....I would say it's more like the Morman Church. Hey, you know what? If it works for you, great. Should it be at career day? Maybe. I mean thanks for warning me to run like the wind if I see the Salvation Army coming in my direction.

All I really know is that whatever field I wanted to go into, they never had anyone there in that field. Maybe the moral of the story should be not to follow your crazy church friends/crush into Career Day. I was sorting through my newspapers for recycling the other night and the Parade had a big article on what people make. Honestly, I don't think you can judge by what people tell you. A high school principal in PA is making $80,000. A school teacher somewhere in the Midwest is making $45,000. An adjunct professor at Notre Dame is making $6,000! What is that? And you see all these people who do four figure jobs...the adjunct (who's probably making money on books and other crap), the yoga instructor, the Toys R Us slave (actually I made five figures there, barely, but I did) and you wonder how people even manage to live. It's lives, and it's stories. You can't judge a person or a profession by a bunch of facts and figures on a page. Live your life and live it how you want because when you're done, you're the one who has to live with the regrets whether that regret is that you missed the big lights or that you took them. You're dream is yours and your alone. Don't fall into the pressure of culture to be rich and famous because rich comes in a lot of forms besides money. Famous is the face that changes a life, not the one that changes your TV channel.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


I would just like to point out that I didn't go to the concert this year, and I did not feel guilty. I guess I actually have learned something.


December 16, 2003

This is where I apologize for not writing, but realize most of the people that look at this talk to me almost everyday and therefore do not feel as bad.

I didn't go to the choir concert tonight. I feel guilty. So does V. That's the power that Ms. H still holds over us. I think it might be the first Christmas concert I've missed since I graduated, but I just decided I'd rather spend time with my family. It would have been great to see who was there, but then I thought about all the people I'd see that I wouldn't know. If we could have something like a choir reunion, that would be awesome. Now, I know that all you non-choir people out there are thinking I'm a super nerd or something, but I'm not. For the most part, band people understand, so I won't address them. However, for the rest of you, the popular people can picture something akin to getting together with all those people you pretended to like because it gained you popularity and years later realize that all you have left is a great lesson in how to have superficial relationships and make them and yourself seem real for years on end. Except, for us choir nerds, the friendships were almost always genuine. (Apologies to the popular people. Sometimes the pent up aggression is just too much for me to hold in.) I'm going to move on from choir now because I'm just trying to make myself feel better. I've finally learned to do what I want. Now if I could just not beat myself up over it.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Welcome to My World

I thought it would be fun to put my very first blog on here. So this is it.


December 2, 2003

A general explanation for why this is here.

1 - It's the easiest way for my friends and family to keep up with what's going on with me no matter how busy we all are.
2 - My best friend thinks that I need to put my life out there so other people can laugh at it. :-)
3 - Moby does it, and Moby is cute, sweet, and rocks. He's definitely my journal inspiration.
4 - Why not? It's not like I'm making anyone read it. Writing is never a waste of time whether it's being read or not.

So, I hope you enjoy at least some of it. If you read enough you're sure to find something interesting like me wrapping my leg in plastic wrap and packing tape to protect my stitches.


Hey everybody!

Deep in the depths of the abyss that is my ramblings on xanga, MySpace, and my old blog World of Crazy Frog, exists some actual decent writing. My plan is to weed out the junk and put the good stuff here. So I hope you enjoy what I deem worthy to place in my Greatest Hits. :-)

Love ya,Brandy