Brandy's Funny Pregnancy Moment of the Day

I've had to put a roll of paper on the counter next to the toilet because I can't lean over far enough to reach the paper on the wall. I hope this wasn't TMI.

Brandy's Thought for the Day

People who think that a normal pregnancy is ten months can't count. That or they don't understand that no matter how the doctors and books choose to count it, you are not actually pregnant until sperm meets egg. To prove my point, let me explain how I calculated my due date:

Date of Conception + 9 Months - 1 Week = D-Day

Now, I'm not counting going past your due date, but since they induce at two weeks past your due date, the most you could be pregnant is nine and a half months. Okay, I'm glad I got that off my chest. By the way, I suck at math.

Pregnancy Side Effect No. 212

I can't remember lyrics. For those of you who know me well, you know how completely unheard of this is. Songs I've been listening to for years, completely gone. Watermelon has become my anthem. The baby's taken my brain!

Cuts Like a Butter Knife

(This post is dedicated to Jamie Noseboulder's faithful sidekick, Valmo.)

I just saw the video for "Jesus Freak." After I got past my schoolgirl crush on K. Max, I realized how ridiculously cheesy the video is. Then I realized that it only seems really cheesy because it is really dated circa 1995. It's really not cheesy if you compare it to something like Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" or "Heart-shaped Box." Then I realized how old I am. Oh, my.

What's in a name?

I'm beginning to understand why people name their kids things like "Apple." I'm going to leave it at that for right now. I'll get back to you on January 14th when, hopefully, I'll know what I have to work with. :-)

Minor Observations

I was reading an article on the Huffington Post about the return of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, and I couldn't help but notice that much of the comments on the post sounded like dialogue from The Newsies. I honestly did not know that people still use the word "scab" in that context. Not to be disrespectful to the hard-working writers out there, but you are a creative lot, couldn't you come up with something a little more 21st century? I just can't take you seriously when you're saying things like "you dirty rotten scabs."

Good days, Bad days

The frustrating thing about morning sickness is that just when you think it's getting better, it turns around on you. I had a couple of good days this week. I even managed to make myself some Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Mac. Then today I gagged both times I tried to take my vitamins.

Today has been a mixed bag. I woke up this morning at 8:00 (I went to sleep at about 3:30am - I'm a night owl, what can I say?) , and I couldn't get back to sleep until I checked for an email from Collin and had a bowl of cereal. I don't want to sound all Sarah Smileyee, but there are some mornings when I can't sleep until I know that he's okay, and no one's going to knock on my door and destroy my life. I probably wouldn't even think of these things if there weren't all these dramatic Navy wives going around describing the scene in detail. Even if you're talking about an event that actually happened, you should be careful how you spread those negative thoughts around.

Then I received one of my weekly updates on what is going on in my uterus, and the picture looks like a baby. It actually is looking like a baby. Well, that made me all weepy. I guess I should get it out of my system before the ultrasound because I don't like to cry in front of strangers, especially by myself.

Here are some things that make my day better:

Flowers from my nephews.























And fluffy slippers from Jon and Leslie.

Morning Sickness

Well, as usual, I have been very bad at actually writing in this blog. I have being feeling very under the weather for the last few weeks. Add to that that Collin will be leaving soon, and, well, I couldn't come up with anything decent to say on here besides complaining.

I've decided to spend this week cross-stitching. Is it weird that Collin hasn't left yet and I already feel lonely? Being pregnant is creating very mixed feelings. I really don't feel like having anyone around. I can't eat normal meals. I don't feel like cleaning the house. I just want to sit on the couch until I feel like a semi-normal person again. But the hormones combined with not feeling like myself is making me worried about being alone.

I guess all of this is compiled on top of visiting Eastgate while we were on leave. It's always weird to go back somewhere that used to be my second home and feel like a "visitor." I try to be good at keeping friends when I move, but I feel like I'm not doing something right. Okay, I'm going to stop rambling and go back to my cross-stitch. If you're the praying type, pray for me to find a church home in Jacksonville. I need it now more than ever.

Eww.

I think Collin might be pregnant. He ate cantaloupe mixed with mint chocolate chip ice cream the other day. Eww.

Thoughts on Thermometers

Oh, the things you learn when registering for babies. Luckily, I worked at Toys R Us for three years, and baby registries were part of my job. So I know that baby registries aren't all fun and games, baby needs things like nail clippers and thermometers, too. So I'm scanning thermometers, a "normal" one for under six months (you know where that goes...eww) and an ear one for over six months (I can't believe how cheap these things are now!). Then to my surprise I notice a new thermometer, a pacifier thermometer. It's a pacifier with a little digital read out on the front - genius!

So I scanned it and pointed out the genius to Collin who said, "But it takes 90 seconds."

I replied, "Yes, but it doesn't have to be stuck up our babies butt!"

"I don't know," Collin continued. "90 seconds seems like a long time."

So I flip over the rectal thermometer for the read-out time..."60 seconds," I announce.

"60 seconds!" Collin says incredulously.

Suddenly 90 seconds with a pacifier didn't seem so bad.

Cravings and Aversions

Well, today is Sunday. Sunday is always a crappy day because that means we have to go to a church. I emphasize a church because we have yet to really know which one is ours. This is the rough spot in what is otherwise a very happy and harmonious relationship. The only church Collin and I have ever agreed on is Eastgate. Every church we visit we over-analyze. Collin goes in on the doctrine and theology; I start on the worship and atmosphere, and by the time we're done, no church works for us as a couple. It is beyond frustrating. And to be facing a deployment and a pregnancy with no church home is just downright scary for me.

In other news, the whole "morning" sickness thing is kicking into high gear. Everything makes me queasy from morning til evening. The stew that I ate last night now makes me feel ill even if I just smell it on Collin's breath. Cantaloupe is the only food that is always good to me right now, and every night comes a craving for an appetiser sampler from somewhere like Fridays or Applebees or a brownie sundae...or both. Ahh...the joys of mother-to-behood.

Day 23 - Nursery Day

Collin and I are trying to get as much done as possible, since he's leaving soon. So that means that things that normally wouldn't be done yet are being done. Is it bad that I already have three baby registries set up? Here's the thing, it's a work in progress. I add stuff I want or need now, so that I have the next eight months to research the products and shop around. If you're going to check out a registry, I suggest the Target one. It's got all the fun stuff on it. The nursery is going to be Classic Pooh.

So today is painting day. Unfortunately, all the research I've done says that I should avoid paint fumes, so I can't help. :-( But I did help prepare the room. We've got a really cute Pooh border to go halfway up the wall. The top half of the wall will be blue and the bottom half will be sage green. It's going to be super cute!

Day 22 - Exercise Makes Me Wanna Puke

The way I knew I was probably still pregnant even after the stupid clinic told me I wasn't is that down dog made me want to throw up all over my yoga mat (I never did, by the way).

Last night was Dining Out. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a formal dinner where a bunch of Naval officers shoot silly string and water guns at each other. And drinking, of course. I am becoming well acquainted with sparkling apple juice. I think sparkling grape juice is my preference, but it's been a while since those middle school New Year's parties with plastic champagne glasses. Here's how crazy pregnancy is...I bought a really pretty party dress for the dining out about two weeks ago. Last night, it barely fit and made me nauseated. But I've only gained a pound. Go figure.

Well, I must go eat an orange now.

Merry Christmas!!

43 Things and 43 Places

I've added two links to my favorite links on here. They are 43 Things and 43 Places. I found these thanks to a massive case of insomnia last night. Check them out and become addicted like me. :-)

Why's it always got to be a political thing?

I was reading this article about a church who lost their domain name to a porn site (See it here) and thinking it was funny, but also sad and probably testament to that whole total depravity of man thing that Collin is always talking about. Then I made the mistake of glancing down at the comments. Somebody (who I will not call bad names because I am trying to be a nicer person) said that he questioned the "authenticity of this story." He cited the fact that he had seen it before with a different "flavor" (hey dude, welcome to the world of journalism and writing style). Then he had the audacity to actually suggest it was intentionally released right before the election to steer voters to the Republicans. REALLY? Yes, a small story about a church's domain name is totally going to cause me to change my votes because I'm not concerned with things like, oh, I don't know, THE WAR...WOMEN'S HEALTH RIGHTS...THE FACT THAT WE HAVE A GROUP OF INCOMPETENT GITS ON CAPITAL HILL WHO SPEND MORE TIME HIDING THEIR PERSONAL PROBLEMS THAN RUNNING THE COUNTRY. Okay, sorry, I had a soapbox moment. I'll tell you what this article made me want to do...not support the porn industry, and since I try not to do that anyway, I guess all it did was inform me, which I believe was the original intent.

The point of all this is that I really don't like comments on articles. I don't need random soundbites from people who have no established credibility. I don't need to go from informed to feeling defensive.

Dustin Survived!

Day 5

Dustin - Day 4